Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
