in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
