Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
