I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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