And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
