i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
