She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you would pick up someone in the library
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
