He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
this hospital has no fireball
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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