just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
