there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
