CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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