yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
