At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
