so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize