im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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