Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think your dad took our porno
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
