She said her name was "party"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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