Duck Duck Cougar?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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