I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
