thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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