my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
