So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She announced her abortion via fbk
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize