My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
