Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
