So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize