i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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