they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
