:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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