I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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