Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
