hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
