I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is not my ceiling
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
