You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
