It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
