I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
