his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
