Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
