it was like eating out sand paper
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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