I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize