I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
if only i could text you this smell
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
