Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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