I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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