i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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