Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
