i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
