you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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