dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
