I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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