Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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