I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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