I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
