Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
