I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bring me that man meat
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
