either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
