Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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