PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
