we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
