windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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