Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
