So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
