I am spending my child support on dildos
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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