are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize