she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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