Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
