Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
