Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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