my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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